


heaving through corrupted lungs

by poseidon



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Gen, Multi, Non-Linear Narrative
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-21
Updated: 2016-03-21
Packaged: 2018-05-28 04:22:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6314917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poseidon/pseuds/poseidon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"'Leia Organa - the revolutionary revolutionary'," she read out loud.</p><p>Han bent over and laughed for a good couple of minutes. Luke shrugged and said, "It's true."</p>
            </blockquote>





	heaving through corrupted lungs

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from "Youth" by Daughter

“We want you to give a speech,” Mothma tells her. “We’ll have a press conference by the end of the week, once the election date has been finalized, so you should have it ready by then.”

Leia knows it’s not a request and nods. “I’ll do it,” she says and waits until Mothma’s walked away to swallow down the lump in her throat. She takes a deep breath, clenching and unclenching her fists, before pulling out her phone and calling Luke and Han to tell them the news.

* * *

She was nineteen years old when she became an orphan. Nineteen, commanding men twice her age and leading a revolution so much bigger than anything she could imagine. It never hit her, the massive scale of how _big_ this is, how high the stakes are, until that awful day when she was about to leave and her father came by the airfield to send her off.

“May the Force be with you,” he said, and those words came back to her when the fighter ships beside the plane exploded and the Empire surrounded them, and they came back again when she sees Vader choking one of the guards, his body slack as it hits the ground.

And it came back for a third time when Tarkin gave the order to nuke Alderaan, face contorted into a vile smile when he saw her shocked face.

Bile filled her throat and she wanted to scream at him, wanted to rip him apart, tear him to shreds, but she forced herself to stay calm and ignored the voices she thought she heard until they went away, all together, silent forever.

It was only when she was back in her cell that she realized she could barely remember her last words to her father - something about how she’d be back soon, how it was a completely safe mission, how she was the only one who could do it - and it pained her because she didn’t know if she’d told him she loved him and she can never tell him again.

* * *

She didn’t get a chance to mourn. She was rescued moments after finally recovering from her torture session and then it was a race against the clock, non-stop action – fighting off Stormtroopers, getting to the getaway car (“You came in that thing?” Leia huffs when she sees it from one of the windows. “You’re braver than I thought.” She doesn’t miss the way Han’s lips quirk and how he stands up a little taller), and seeing Vader shoot down Kenobi.

She watched him fall and pulled Luke back as he tried to run over because she knew it was useless – the last Jedi was dead, and now there only remained the Rebel Alliance.

So she took a deep breath, pushed back her mourning, and got to work.

Artoo, brilliant hacker he is, got them on the first flight to Yavin and by the time they landed, Leia had already formulated her attack plan and was texting the details to the base. The adrenaline steadied her fingers and kept her breathing even, helped her stay focused, gave her something to do so she wouldn’t have to think about anything else.

And it worked. They destroyed the “Death Star,” shot at it until it was nothing more than scorched earth and ash and Leia felt like she was walking on clouds as she pulled Luke and Han into a tight hug, screaming and cheering until her voice gave way and she felt so _alive_.

Then it came crashing down, the first moment she was alone. She was in her office, sifting through papers and schedules to see when they could have some sort of ceremony to commemorate the rag tag team who saved her life, when she spotted the picture of her and her father on her desk. They were at some fancy gathering and he was smiling, his arm wrapped around her shoulder as she leaned into his chest.

Grief filled her as it finally dawned on her that she wouldn't ever see him again, wouldn’t be able to hear his voice, to seek comfort in his arms. She was only nineteen years old, barely an adult and already an orphan. It hurt so much.

She didn’t realize she was crying until the door opened and she hurriedly wiped her tears.

"Hey, Leia, Han's looking for you," Luke said. There was a laugh on his lips that quickly dissipated when he saw her face and he closed the door, muffling the sounds of the party outside as he carefully stepped forward. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Leia replied in a clipped tone. She took a deep breath. "I'm fine."

Luke didn't seem to believe her, carefully stepping forward and taking the tear-stained picture frame out of her hands. "That's your dad?"

She nodded quietly.

"He looks nice," Luke said. "He must be proud of what you did tonight."

"He's. Dead." She swallowed down the lump in her throat and continued, "He was on Alderaan when - when -"

Luke wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against his chest, and she couldn’t stop the tears from spilling and the choked sobs from racking her body. They stayed like that for a little while until Leia thought she could breathe again, and he kissed her forehead before they got back to the party.

* * *

Leia gets home and heads straight to her computer. She opens up a word document and stares at it for half an hour until Han walks in.

“Break time yet?” he asks.

“I haven’t written a single thing down yet,” she says.

“Oh.” He scratches his chin, frowning lightly. “I suppose you could always write about how you secured a major asset for the Rebel Alliance, stood through torture from Darth kriffing Vader, and helped destroy the Death Star – and that was over the course of a week.”

She rolls her eyes. “You know, Luke said almost the exact same thing when I called him.”

“Kid always steals my ideas,” Han scoffs. He gives her a grin and kisses the side of her head. “Luke and I are downstairs, if you need anything, okay?”

Leia nods and kisses him back. She waits for the door to close before resting her head down on the desk and letting out a groan, running her hands through her hair. She’s not ready for this, she is _so_ not ready to do this.

She  goes downstairs a couple of hours later and finds Luke and Han huddled on the sofa, television still on, with Han letting out loud snores as Luke snuggles into his shoulder.

She smiles a little and grabs a blanket to pull around them, kissing their heads in turn before returning upstairs and falling asleep by the computer.

* * *

She realized she might be in love with Han while they were on the run from the Empire. Luke may be her good friend and an excellent source of emotional stability, but Han isn’t that. He comments and jibes and grins when she snaps back at him, her clever wit more than a match for his wisecracking laidback attitude. But in a crisis, whenever someone needs him, no matter how precarious or difficult the situation would be, he would always deliver (and conveniently forget to ask for a reward).

Here, in the tiny confines of Han’s raggedy old “Millennium Falcon,” she wondered if maybe those comments were something more.

They spent their first moment alone when Chewbacca and Threepio went to get some supplies, leaving the two of them with the car. Han waited until they’d gone a sufficient distance and reached beneath the driver’s seat to pull out a bag of –

“You have a bag of pot in your car?” Leia said in disbelief.

“Would it help if I told you it wasn’t mine?” Han asked.

“No, I don’t think it would.”

Han rolled his eyes and leaned his seat back. “Come on, Princess, didn’t you ever try some back in school?” He offered her the bag and she pushed it away with a look of disgust.

“No, and I’ve told you countless times,” she said, “I’m not a princess.”

“Alderaan was a kingdom, your father was the leader, and that makes you a princess.”

“Alderaan hasn’t been a kingdom in decades.”

Han waved his hand dismissively and looked back at the bag before shoving it back under the seat. “Well, since you don’t want to have _fun_ , I guess we could listen to some music.” He started up the CD player and started humming along to the first song that came on.

Leia listened quietly, brow furrowed in concentration. "This sounds familiar, actually. What band is this?"

"What, you've never heard of the Rolling Stones?" Han smiled, quickly frowning when Leia gave him a blank look. "Oh come on, you can't tell me you've never listened to a single song by the Stones."

"Well, technically I can't, because I am listening to this one," Leia retorted. “Plus, my father didn’t like this kind of music. He liked… other things.”

“To each his own, I guess,” Han said. He leaned his head on his hand and asked, "What kind of things do you listen to?"

"Political speeches."

They stared at each other until neither could maintain a straight face and both burst into laughter. Han let out a snort and Leia's rubbed her eyes as Chewbacca knocked on the window and grunted at Han.

"Hey, take that back!" Han huffed.

"What did he say?" Leia asked as Threepio slid into the backseat.

"Well, roughly translated, he says that he won't be listening to that 'shit music' while we're driving," he replied, miming the air quotes.

Leia giggled again, shaking her head.

"We shouldn't be arguing, anyhow,” he continued, "for Chewbacca and I were faced with some individuals who were staring quite a lot at us. I believe they were aware as to who we are."

Chewie roared something at Threepio, who let out an indignant huff. "My glasses are not 'fucking ridiculous', thank you very much."

Han howled with laughter and Leia thought that things could be much worse than something as nice as this.

* * *

They had their first kiss a day before they reached Bespin, in the middle of a convenience store.

She was trying to reach a bag of chips high up on one of the shelves and he came in from behind her to grab it for her.

"I could've grabbed that myself," she said with a tight frown and started walking away.

Han raised his hands. "I'm only trying to help, Your Worship."

"Would you please stop calling me that?" There was a tightness in her voice that she didn't intend for, didn't even notice until the words came out.

Han's voice was a little different, too, as he took a careful step forward. "Sure, Leia."

She turned around and gave him an exasperated look. "You make it so difficult, sometimes."

"I do," he smirked. "I really do. You could be a little nicer, though," he added, and Leia turned around with a fond roll of her eyes, beginning to walk away.

He hurried up in front of her, still smiling that cocky smile. "Come on, admit it - sometime you think I'm all right."

She pursed her lips and pretended to think. "Occasionally," she says slowly, before flashing a light smirk. "When you're not acting like a scoundrel."

"Scoundrel?" Han laughed, deep and genuine. "Scoundrel? I like the sound of that." He stepped in a little closer to her, his eyes sparking with charm and charisma. "You like me because I'm a scoundrel. There aren't enough scoundrels in your life."

Leia wondered how they got so close all of a sudden. Her voice lowered to a whisper. "I happen to like nice men."

The bag fell to the floor but neither moved to pick it up.

"I'm a nice man," Han said quietly.

"No you're not. You're..." And she couldn't think of anything else to say because her lips were brushing against his and their hands were laced together and for a moment it felt like everything was going to be okay when -

"Solo!" Threepio stepped into the aisle. Han and Leia quickly pulled apart.

"What?" Han asked, sounding more than a little annoyed. He was still looking at Leia, eyes soft, and all she wanted to do is kiss him again.

"Bounty hunters," Threepio managed to stammer out, gesturing to the window.

It was enough to jerk the two out of their reprieve and Han took her hand, pulling her along to the back exit, Threepio running behind them. Chewie was already in the driver's seat, ready to pull away as the others quickly climbed in and they finally left.

Leia turned around to see if someone was following and it occurred to her that Han wasn't in his usual seats as driver or passenger, but in the back with her.

He also hadn't let go of her hand.

* * *

She lifts her head up from the toilet, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand as she stands up. She washes and rinses thoroughly and stares at her reflection in the mirror for a good couple of minutes before heading downstairs for breakfast.

Luke sits at the counter, hands wrapped around a cup of tea as he watches some cartoon on the TV. Han is still snoring away on the couch.

"Morning," Leia says with a smile.

Luke doesn't return it, expressionless as he takes a slow sip from his mug. "I heard you in the bathroom."

“I'm just nervous about this speech," Leia shrugs casually. She heads into the kitchen and pours herself a bowl of cereal. Luke watches her quietly, raising the hairs on the back of her neck. Finally, the tension gets to her and she turns back to look at him. "What?"

"Is there something you want to talk about?"

"I just want to get this speech written," she says. Her hands clench and release and she grabs her bowl. "Make sure to wake Han up before Chewy gets here, okay?" She doesn't wait for a response, rushing up the stairs two steps at a time until she's back in her room, safe and sound.

She sets the cereal on her desk and starts typing.

* * *

Leia doesn't like thinking about what happened to Han in Bespin. Luke sometimes tries to get her to open up about it, not to let it fester within her and consume her from the inside.

“Emotions get the best of us,” he said wisely, while they prepared to siege Jabba’s mansion. “You should try to talk these things out.”

“Or, we can focus on rescuing him and then my problem’s solved,” Leia snapped, a little more harshly than she’d intended. She let out a sigh and shook her head. “I’m sorry, it’s just…”

“I get it,” he said, giving her a small smile. “We’ll get him back, don’t worry.”

She didn’t worry, which turned out to be the wrong choice because if she _had_ worried, perhaps she could’ve avoided ending up Jabba’s sex slave, chained and clad in a bikini that barely covered anything, and being forced to watch Han and Luke fall from the ridiculously large balcony to their watery deaths.

She blinked, briefly, and one second, Luke was about to jump, then suddenly he grabbed his lightsaber and cut open his shackles and _shit_ he can reflect bullets with that thing?

But it’s not enough – Han still couldn’t see properly and Chewie couldn’t fight while he was keeping him safe, so Luke and Lando were left fending off Jabba’s men, outgunned, outmanned, outnumbered, and outplanned.

There was too much chaos around for anyone to really pay attention to Leia, so she acted. The chain was surprisingly light and it wasn’t that hard to whack Jabba in the head with it. He fell to the floor and she wasted no time grabbing the keys off of his person and freeing herself.

She punched the first man she saw, grabbed his gun, and started shooting.

Later, when they were driving in Lando’s van, away from the charred remains of the mansion and to the airfield, Han pulled off his jacket and handed it to her. “Wouldn’t want you to get a cold,” he joked and she rolled her eyes and something panged in her chest as she realized how much she _missed_ him – his ridiculous attitude, bad jokes, sweet smile.

She doesn’t miss the way his hands brush against hers as they sat together, silent for the rest of the ride. She also doesn’t miss the way his hand lingered on Luke’s shoulder when they said their goodbyes, not until Luke promised to return.

* * *

She didn’t get a chance to speak to Luke until their first night in Endor, when she found him outside the camp. The moon shone above them, dim lanterns lit outside makeshift tents, the air was tense with the anticipation of the oncoming battle.

“Luke, what's wrong?” she asked.

He turned around and looked at her quietly. He’s changed so much, she thought, since the first time they’d met in the Death Star. He’s no longer that starry-eyed farm boy – there’s wisdom in his eyes, beyond his years, and he looks so tired.

“Leia,” he started, voice soft and uncertain, as though he wasn’t sure of what to say. “… Do you remember your mother? Your _real_ mother?”

Her first instinct was to say no but she hesitated. “Just a little bit,” she admitted. “She died when I was very young.”

“What do you remember?”

She shrugged. “Just... images, really. Feelings.”

“Tell me.” There was a disconcerting insistence in his voice, sadness in his eyes, and Leia had to look away when she responded.

“She was very beautiful. Kind, but... sad.” She licked her lips and looked back, but Luke turned away and stared up at the stars. He couldn’t get enough of them, ever since he was given his own fighter plane to fly. Leia doesn’t think he’s ever been truly grounded.

“I don’t remember my mother,” he said quietly. “Never knew her…” He trailed off and slowly turned to face her. “I have to go.”

Leia blinked. “Go? But we just got here. We – we have to fight.”

“As long as I stay, I'm endangering the group and our mission here.” He licked his lips, took a deep breath, and said, “I have to face Vader. He’s…” he took another breath, closing his eyes. “He’s my father.”

Leia didn’t know what to say, except that it couldn’t be true. Vader is a murderer, a torturer, part of the systematic oppression of all the people who want to live free in the Galactic Republic. And Luke – he’s the complete opposite: he fights for what is right, genuinely wants the best for others, believes in good, and believes in the best of people. He looks to the stars and sees a bright future and there is no way he can be related to Vader.

“There’s more,” he said. “If I don't make it back, you're the only hope for the Alliance.”

“Don’t talk that way,” Leia said. “You’ll be fine. You’re – you’ve got a… _power_ that I don’t understand and could never have.”

Luke smiled, just barely. “You're wrong, Leia. You have that power too. In time you'll learn to use it as I have.” He looked away again, searching for the right words. “The Force is strong in my family. My father has it. I have it. And... my sister has it.”

Leia stared at him, lips parted as the pieces came together in her mind. Something clicked and suddenly, it all made sense. He’s got his head in the clouds and she has her feet on the ground. Together, they make a whole.

“I know,” she said. “Somehow… I’ve always known.”

“Then you know why I have to face him.”

And a part of her did, though the rest of her wanted to stop him, wanted to try and save him, but this was something he had to do and she couldn’t get in the way of it. “Okay,” she said instead. “I… I wish I could go with you.”

“No, you don't. You've always been strong.” He gave her a warm smile and she wrapped her arms around him, holding him close for as long as she could before reluctantly pulling away.

“Stay safe, okay?” she whispered.

“I will,” he nodded, pressing a kiss to her cheek, and she watched him walk away.

Han came out a few moments later to find her standing alone, cheeks stained with tears and refused to tell him what happened. He let out a heavy sigh and was about to leave when she spoke.

“Hold me.”

He didn’t hesitate, pulling her close to his chest and wrapping his arms around her small frame. She closed her eyes. _May the Force be with you, Luke_.

* * *

Han opens the door, knocking belatedly, and looks around. “Everything going all right in here?"

"Yes, just fine," Leia says. She leans back from the computer and scrolls through what she's written. "I've got... two paragraphs done."

"Just two?" Han scoffs. "Your mission briefs are longer than that."

"Yes, yes, I know," Leia replies, already smiling. It's so easy to smile when Han's around. "I want to make sure it's good, though. It's an important topic."

"What's the topic?"

"The first truly democratic elections in Coruscant since the Empire took power." She lets out a sigh and runs a hand through her hair. "Lots of people have worked their whole lives for this and I just... I want it to be good."

"It'll be great," he assures her, ruffling her hair a little. "You're a genius."

Leia rolls her eyes and swats his hand away. "Shouldn't you be bothering Luke?"

"Artoo was doing something on his computer and he fried the power. Luke's gone to help them fix it."

"I'm sure Chewie's pleased with that development," Leia chuckles.

"He flipped one of the desks over and then went out for some fun."

Leia laughs, shaking her head. "How are all three of them living together?"

"No clue," Han says, coming to stand behind her. He stretches his fingers and starts to gently massage her shoulders.

Leia lets out a soft sigh and leans into the touch. "How do you always know what I need?"

"The Force." At Leia's snort, he adds, "Luke's been teaching me a little bit. Think I'm getting the hang of it."

"I'm sure," she hums. She pulls out her phone and starts to flip through messages. The one from Mothma, asking her how far she's gotten and if she needs help, she ignores, focusing instead on a strange one from Luke.

 _[From: Luke]_  
_check under ur sink_

She frowns lightly, sliding her phone into her pocket and slowly standing. "Bathroom break," she explains.

Han makes an overdramatic face. "Man, TMI, Leia." He laughs when she rolls her eyes and kisses her hand as she walks away.

She checks under the sink and finds two pregnancy tests.

 _[To: Luke]_  
_what_  
_the_  
_actual_  
_fuck_

 _[From: Luke]_  
_i kno u dont want 2 try em but plz_  
_4 me_

Leia wants to find him and shove this damn test up his ass. Instead, she takes a deep breath, looks at the tests for a few moments, and opens the first one.

* * *

The victory party after the Battle of Endor seemed to last forever. She didn’t know when the sun went down but it didn’t matter. They won. They defeated the Emperor and they won.

Han found her right after it was over and kissed her deeply, hands cupping her face and she wrapped her arms around him and closed her eyes. It was wonderful - more than - for a few moments until her phone buzzed. They ignored it once, still lost in their own world, but she pulled away reluctantly at the second buzz and pulled it out.

 _[From: Luke]_  
_where r u_  
_mothma is looking 4 u_

She looks up at Han and types:

 _[To: Luke]_  
_in my tent_  
_come and pick me up_

"What's going on?" Han asked. His hand squeezed hers, gently rubbing circles with his thumb and he slowly stepped closer. "Anything important?"

"I think so," Leia said softly. She kissed him gently and started to head out, before hesitating a moment and turning back. "Luke likes nice men, too."

Han's face turned red and he spluttered for a response, but she was already gone, grinning from ear to ear. It'd been a while since she'd been this happy.

Later, Luke left to join his fellow pilots in the celebrations, and Leia and Han climbed into the backseat of his car and kissed like the world was ending. He kissed her breasts and she arched into his touches and when it was all over, he pulled her close and let her sleep.

* * *

Per Mothma's request, she gave a speech to the Rebels the day after Endor.

Later, she didn't remember what she said - something about teamwork, love, harmony, overthrowing the oppressive regime - but someone posted it online and it'd gone viral by the time they reached Coruscant, the first place after Endor to successfully remove the Empire.

She found an article of herself online, sitting in the hotel room with Han and Luke. It was a brief summary about her life or something, she thought, and a particular phrase caught her eye.

"'Leia Organa - the revolutionary revolutionary'," she read out loud.

Han bent over and laughed for a good couple of minutes. Luke shrugged and said, "It's true."

She was bombarded with interview requests and talk show invitations afterwards, and while she would've preferred to go out and liberate more places from the Empire's corrupt control, Mothma thought it’d best if she remained in Coruscant for the time being.

She told the group - Han, Luke, Chewie, Artoo, Threepio (and Lando and Wedge, who happen to be there with Luke) - the day they were supposed to leave for Naboo, outside the airfield.

"For how long?" Threepio asked.

"I don't know," Leia said. "Indefinitely."

There was a beat, then Han said, "Guess we better find an apartment, then, huh?"

Luke nodded and started taking his bags to the car, while Chewie called up a ride for Lando and Wedge.

"Wait," Leia said, blinking, "what - what're you doing?"

"Come on, Princess," Han said, curling his lips. "You really think we’re gonna leave you here?"

She had, and didn’t know how to respond. Han kissed her cheek and took her back to the car.

The three of them bought an apartment near downtown - prime location, if a little pricey, but who cares when you're heroes of the Rebellion?

Chewie moved into an apartment with Threepio and Artoo on the floor below them. "To save on rent," he claimed, according to Han, who'd laughed for five minutes straight when he heard until Chewie nearly beat him up. Lando and Wedge live in the next complex over.

Leia has no idea how it happened, but suddenly she had a home.

"I love you," she said softly, resting her head on his chest.

He traced the words on her shoulder and pressed a soft kiss there. "I know," he said. "... Want to go again?"

Leia hit the side of his head, and they laughed and talked and kissed into the night.

It felt wonderful.

* * *

Both tests stare back at her. Both are positive.

She sets them down on the counter and takes a deep breath.

* * *

"It's just another interview with just another talk show host," Luke said.

"A _ridiculous_ talk show host," Leia corrected.

"She believes in the Force."

" _And_ in the Emperor and his dictatorship."

Luke sighed and slowly shook his head. "Come on, Leia. It's always a good idea to see how your enemy - or who you believe to be your enemy - perceives you."

Leia crossed her arms, grumbling to herself. "Fine, I'll go with you," she said. "But I won't be happy."

She wasn’t.

Mara Jade is intelligent, witty, gorgeous, and a vehement supporter of the recently-deceased Emperor. It's a crying shame, Leia thought, for her sharp tongue and intellect could have been very useful for the Rebel Alliance. Maybe she’d change her mind after the interview.

For the most part, it went well. Leia rebuffed her claims that the Alliance is "just a group of murderous anarchists who have no care for human life" and challenged her claims on how "benevolent" the Emperor was and how the Empire's "peacekeeping" kept the balance within the Force.

Luke hadn't been able to get in a word.

"You first met Darth Vader face-to-face when he grounded your plane and arrested you for stealing important documents regarding the Death Star base, correct?" Jade asked, after the commercial break.

" _Allegedly_ stealing," Leia corrected. "And yes. He choked the life out of one of my bodyguards in front of me and used my home as leverage to –"

"To destroy Alderaan, yes, we all know the story," Jade said. "But Alderaan was reported to have long-range nuclear warheads, which were  _not_ cleared by the - "  
"That's pure bullshit," Leia snapped. "Alderaan had absolutely no weapons - those reports came out  _after_ the destruction of Alderaan and were  _all_ conducted by the Empire. And even if they did, that's absolutely no excuse for what the Empire did to them."

They went back and forth for a few more rounds, nothing Leia couldn't handle, until -

"What was your reaction when you learned Darth Vader was your father?"

"Excuse me?"

Jade repeated the question, and Leia had no idea how to respond. She'd never actually thought about it. Her father, Bail Organa, was always her father, and it never really clicked when Luke revealed their relationship that his birth father was the same as hers.

Darth Vader, the man who helped destroy her entire world, who tortured her, who killed Kenobi in cold blood and almost did the same to her - that man is her father.

Luke sat up a little straighter and opened his mouth but Jade started talking. "You were held captive by Jabba the Hutt for a brief period of time, were you not?"

Leia swallowed hard. "Yes, but –"

"And didn't you, along with Artoo Deetoo, detonate his entire estate, killing dozens of people?"

"Yes, but –"

"Yes, they  _did_ hold you hostage against your will, but isn't blowing up the whole place a little excessive?"

Jade smirked. Leia had no idea what to say. "I –“

"Do you think that this violent tendency could be hereditary?"

Luke jumped in and started talking, but Leia didn't hear it. She could've destroyed Jade's claims. It would've been easy, and she could've left that studio with a clear sense of victory.

Except. What if it's true? What if she  _does_ have violent tendencies? It's clear she's passionate, emotive, sometimes aggressive, and since the rebellion started, countless blood has been spilled by her hands.

What if she's just like her father?

The rest of the interview went by with a blur and Leia rushed out the moment she could, Luke walking behind her quietly. Han was waiting for them backstage. He opened his mouth and she pushed past him and ran out into the night.

She went straight home and got into bed, curling into herself under the covers and squeezing her eyes shut to stop the tears. She was asleep by the time Han came home and he spent the night with her, holding her close.

No one talked about the interview the next morning. Two days later, Mothma called her into her office and told her to prepare a speech.

* * *

She tells Han.

"But we used a condom," he says, after a moment. He plops down on the couch. "It... must've been ripped."

Leia nods, unable to speak, and slowly sits down beside him, staring resolutely at the ground.

"What do you want to do?" he asks softly.

"I... I don't know," she says quietly. "I, um... always liked the idea of being a mother, you know? Taking care of them, raising them, loving them like - like my parents loved me. But since..." she pauses a moment and takes a shuddering breath, eyes wet with tears. "Vader is Luke's father and mine, and he abandoned us and left our mother to die and went off to let hundreds of thousands of people die and the rest live in a regime devoid of peace and freedom and he's killed - he's killed so many and... and I've killed people too."

Han wraps an arm around her and tilts her face toward him. "Leia, you stood up against the Empire and helped lead the Rebel Alliance into victory. You've saved your friends and countless others from death and destruction. You're headstrong, stubborn, ruthless, but also kind, caring, and loving. And I know you will be an  _excellent_  mother." He kisses the side of her head. "Do whatever you want, but don't you dare let your fear of becoming Vader decide for you, because you're not him. You're you."

Leia wipes her eyes and nods slowly. "I... You're right. Thank you."

Han smiles. "I have my moments. So," he says, pressing his hand to her stomach, "what do you want to do?"

* * *

They get married the next day.

Lando is apparently a registered minister, so it's just a matter of gathering everyone and actually doing the whole thing. Chewie goes to get the rings, and Luke goes with Han to buy the suit. Leia has a nice dress and she tries it on in front of Threepio and Artoo. Threepio excuses himself from the room to stop himself from crying, and Artoo gives her a thumbs up. He signs something else after and it takes Leia a few moments to figure out what he's saying.

"You knew my mother?" she asks, then realizes what he's saying. "Oh my god, you knew  _my mother_?"

He nods, grinning slightly and pulls out his phone to type to her a message.

_We worked closely together. She was very intelligent and independent. Started the Rebel Alliance._

Leia blinks. "My mother - was Padmé Amidala? Why - why did you never tell me?"

Artoo shrugs.  _Never thought it was really important. You were busy_   _trying to save the world. But I_   _can tell you this: you are very_   _much like her. And she would've been incredibly proud of you._

Leia wipes the corners of her eyes and pulls Artoo in for a tight hug. He kisses her cheek and steps back when Luke enters.

"Ready?" he asks.

Leia nods. "Of course."

While Lando talks, Han grins across at her and squeezes her hands. "I love you," he whispers.

"I know," she replies.

* * *

Han taps the back of her shoulder while she's looking over her speech and he grins at her look of surprise.

"Snuck back here to see how you were doing," he says. "No typos in there?"

"I did proofread it," Leia says, rolling her eyes.

Han nods. "Good. Knock 'em dead, yeah?"

"Yeah." She kisses him softly and heads towards the stage, listening to Luke's introduction.

"- introduce you to the revolutionary revolutionary, my dear sister, Leia Organa Solo!"

Leia takes a deep breath, clenches and releases her fists, and steps on stage.

She goes through most of her speech without thinking, reading the words off the page. It's well-written - which, of course it is because she wrote it - and talks mostly about the great benefits of democracy and how important it is to keeping the peace.

"No longer do we have to live under the dark hand of the Empire," she says, over the cheers of the assembled crowd. "Now, we can finally take our future into our own hands."

She's just about to give her support to all the candidates who will announce their intent of running for office when she stops. Silence runs through the crowd, confused and giving her quiet stares, but her eyes catch Luke's in the front row.

She thinks she can hear his voice in her head.

_You should do it._   
_I shouldn't. I'm inexperienced. Unprepared. And Mothma's planning on running anyway. I don't stand a chance._   
_Not with that attitude. Come on, think of Mom. What would she say?_

She does think of Padmé, of Artoo's words before her wedding. Padmé was a queen before 16, a senator before 20, and dead by 30. Her father always spoke of his dear friend fondly, and he'd always give her a look whenever he thought of her.

"She would've loved you," he once said. "Vehemently into politics, becoming a diplomat." He laughed and kissed her head. "You're destined for great things, Leia. I know it."

Leia looks down at her papers and looks back out to the crowd. "We can take our future into our own hands," she repeats. "Few people were able to do that, under the laws of the Empire. And yet there were some who took this chance to rise up above it, to take back their freedom. My mother - my birth mother, Padmé Amidala - was one of the first people to stand up to the Empire and she was one of the first to die because of it."

She pauses for a moment. Artoo catches her eye and waves, giving her a thumbs up.

She takes a deep breath and continues. "So many people died in order to bring the dream of the New Republic to life, and though the battle is won, the war is far from over, and I will keep fighting until it is done. Which is why I am officially announcing my candidacy for the president of Coruscant."

Leia finishes her speech, amid the hundreds of flashing cameras and clamoring reporters, and she's never felt more alive.

She doesn't answer questions, ignores the calls on her phone, and promises only to release an official statement tomorrow before heading backstage.

Han is the only one there and he nearly trips over himself as he stands, staring at her.

"Well," he says, after a moment, "that was one ballsy move, Princess."

She laughs and he pulls her in for a kiss. "How are we going to pull this off? With the, y'know..." he gestures vaguely at her stomach.

"I faced off against the Empire, destroyed the Death Star, brought democracy to Coruscant, went head to head with Mara fucking Jade, and fell in love with you," she says with a smile. "I think I can handle this."

 

**Author's Note:**

> Some lines were taken directly from the films. I think it's obvious which ones those were.
> 
> Talk to me about how amazing Leia is on my [tumblr](http://poeorgana.tumblr.com/)


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